


New Homes

by nagemeikenu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-13 16:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagemeikenu/pseuds/nagemeikenu
Summary: In which Remus is from bumfuck Pennsylvania and Sirius is from England. Remus is working in a cafe and living in a tiny apartment in NYC. Sirius moves in with James Potter because his family are a bunch of wankers. Welcome to the bedlam that is my mind and forgive my lack of sleep and talent writing summaries.





	1. When Worlds Collide

Remus hated working at the café, but it was really his only option. After all, who could afford college? Well, what queer kid with no family could afford college?

Not him, anyway. Didn’t matter, Remus thought to himself, and brought his attention back to the milk he was steaming. He switched off the steamer and poured the milk into the espresso he’d made just before. Moving more based on muscle memory than purpose, he slapped a lid on the cup and called out, “Latte for Emmaline.”

He set the drink on the pick-up counter and moved back to the register, where more empty cups labeled with people’s livelihoods awaited him. Taking the nearest one, he began brewing the three-shot cappuccino. _Someone needs the boost,_ he thought with a slight smirk. Milk was under the steamer, and he had another going to make the foam. Once he’d gotten the foam settled, he turned off the steamer. Dump the espresso, add the milk, top with the foam…done. He checked the name again, did a double take to take in the name. He shrugged, added a lid, and called out: “Triple-shot cappuccino for Sirius!”

A lithe, ethereal man seemed to glide up to the counter. He grinned, and Remus could see the gray eyes shine silver with pleasure. He couldn’t breathe until after the man said, “Cheers, mate.”

 _Of course he had to have a British accent. Of fucking course._ And, of course, Remus couldn’t breathe until he’d walked away and out the door. His co-worker Lily had to call him back to do his job. Even then, his movements were zombie-like and he couldn’t shake it. _Fucking hell._

Remus’ workday was a blur of coffee, spills, and demands from old white people. After that, he found himself hoping he’d never see Sirius again and hoping he’d show up tomorrow at the same time.

 _Bastard…how the hell were you supposed to react when the man of your dreams stepped out of them and into the café?_ Remus decided he was pissed as hell, considering he had no chance and no way of seeing him ever again. He was British—it was a fluke at best. He was even more annoyed when that broke his heart instead of making him feel better.  
Alone at his tiny apartment, he was set in a state of melancholy. The melancholy wasn’t new, but it was due to a new reason. Somehow, it was worse than usual. Restlessness joined melancholy in a way he’d never felt before—something tugged at his soul to move, do something, anything. For the life of him, he couldn’t find anything to do. So he wandered between the two rooms of the apartment, trying to assure himself he wasn’t going insane. Finally, his phone went off.

“Hello? Hi. How are you? Um…who is this?”

“Remus, you okay?” Lily’s voice was a bit startled.

“What? Yeah, fine, why?”

“You just…you never talk that fast…” her voice trailed off.

“Don’t worry about it, just hyper for some reason. I don’t know what to do with all the energy,” he admitted.

“Oh,” the word was drawn out in understanding, “then you’ll actually hang out then! Get out of the apartment?”

“Well…” Remus hesitated; leaving the apartment seemed quite drastic.

“Come on!” Lily pleaded, “James is going to be there and he’s an ass. I need you to keep me from resorting to violence.”

“James? Really?” Remus frowned—the black-haired boy was a bit rambunctious for his tastes.

“Yeah, Marlene insists that we’d make a great couple—and she told him that too,” Lily sounded aggravated.

“Well, if you’re sure you need someone to keep you out of jail…” Remus felt himself give in for the first time.

“Thank you, Remus! Maybe if I tell him you’re my boyfriend, he’d back the fuck off!” Excitement filled her voice.

“Marlene knows we’re not dating, though,” Remus pointed out, grabbing his jacket.

“Shit,” she said, “then my best plan is having you get here ASAP.”

“Leaving now,” he told her, “I’m only three stops away.”

“Thank God for New York’s subway system! See you soon!”

“See you,” he hung up, locked the door, and managed to get to the Subway stop without panicking. Crowds were never pleasant but being in his apartment all night suddenly felt too closed in, too completely empty and unbearable. For once, Remus actively decided to be around people instead of alone with his thoughts, his books he’d saved for each month. Poe, Shakespeare, and Shelley couldn’t soothe him tonight. The soft words from old writers would be repulsive tonight—he needed noise, needed people he could see instead of dream. Maybe once he had the alcohol Lily invariably stocked, he’d be able to admit that he’d spent far too much time alone, even though he preferred it most of the time. Maybe he’d be able to admit that the energy came from wanting to seek out Sirius, to chase him to the ends of the earth and—

 _And what, exactly? Ride off into the sunset on a white stallion together?_ Luckily, he’d dreamed long enough to get off the subway, and out into the streets again during the lively, early evening of the Big Apple. Navigating easily, he got up the steps, found Lily’s apartment number, and pressed the appropriate buzzer—he hoped.

“Yeah?” When he heard the vaguely familiar female voice, Remus breathed out with relief.

“Hey, Marlene, it’s Remus.”

“Oh, hey! Come on up, honey! Glad you made it,” the click accentuated her welcome, and Remus pushed inside and took the steps two and a time. Walking quickly, he rapped on number 354.

Within three seconds, James opened the door with a joyful _hello, how are you?_ Remus gave a quick greeting and slipped inside, where Lily and Marlene’s weekly Friday Game Night was in full swing.

“We need a sixth for Resistance,” James said, passing him a beer.

“Sounds good,” Remus decided, then turned towards the table.

He saw the same black hair, place skin, and sharp jawbones; Sirius was laughing at something Dorcas said. He sat next to Lily, leaving an open seat beside him and one next to that. James snagged the seat next to him, and Remus resented it immediately.  
He glugged some beer to calm himself, and nearly steadied his breathing. _Who needs air anyway?_

“Hey,” he said, sliding into the seat.

“Hey, Remus!” Lily leaned over and kissed his cheek in greeting.

“You came!” Dorcas clapped.

“He did,” Marlene grinned at her girlfriend.

“Your name is Remus?” the classic, clipped British accent filled his ears and head. Jesus, he didn’t need the beer to get drunk. He just needed to hear that voice again.

After a long pause, he nodded, “Long time no see.” When Sirius laughed, he felt he’d accomplished everything possible in his life.

“We saw each other this afternoon,” Sirius explained, “he gave me my beloved coffee. Therefore, I owe him the world.” Remus’ heart stopped. _I’m in so much trouble._

“I’d settle for a grand in cash,” he managed to quip. And his heart stopped again when Sirius threw his head back and barked out another laugh.

“Well, that’s that—I’m broke for the rest of my days,” the Brit’s silver eyes gleamed appreciatively.

“That’ll teach you not to owe people the world,” James pointed at Sirius playfully.

“Okay, how do you two know each other?” Marlene sipped her drink and smirked, which Remus thought shouldn’t be possible.

“I’ve got family in London,” James said.

“You’re Indian,” Lily said, frowning.

“Half Indian, half imperialist,” James corrected with a grin, “went to elementary school in England before my parents moved here for work. We manage to go to either India or England in the summers, and that’s how I managed to stay brothers with Sirius.”

“Brothers?” Remus couldn’t help asking.

“This chap has known me since we were in nappies,” Sirius said, “we were neighbors until he abandoned me.”

“Abandoned you,” James rolled his eyes.

“You _did_ , left me alone to die in primary school, no less.” Sirius took another drink while James shook his head.

“It wasn’t my fault!” he said defensively, “And this is the first and only time you’ve visited me, so I think we’re even.”

“There you have a point, mate.”

“I didn’t realize you weren’t born in America,” Lily said slowly.

“Doesn’t really come up, and I’ve lost the accent for the most part. Comes out a bit when this ass is around.” James threw an arm around Sirius’ shoulders.

“It’s for the best, really,” Sirius claimed, “it’s the only way a Yank, or any girl would have you.”

James laughed as his arm tightened around Sirius’ neck playfully. Remus looked to Lily, curious. She seemed pensive, hands wrapped around her cup, and head tilted slightly. Remus surmised she was rethinking James. She’d determined that he was an ass, but he seemed…different with Sirius. Maybe he brought out a better side to the James she complained was too flirty, all surface-level with no substance to hold it up. Maybe, Remus considered as he sipped, Sirius showed Lily who James was when he wasn’t being a flirty jackass—that he was more than that. What would Sirius bring out in him when he was around.

“Remus,” Dorcas sang, “Earth to Remus.”

“What?” He jerked back to reality.

“Pick a damn card, dreamer.”

“Oh,” he reached forward and plucked one from the remaining four. Cupping his hand around it, he took a quick glance. He wasn’t a spy, thank God, and would have to search one out this game. He felt the relief—he didn’t have the brains to bluff as a spy in the midst of the missions. He watched as Sirius was chosen for the first two missions along with James, and then James and Lily accompanied him. The second mission failed—and thus began the accusations.

“It’s not me,” Lily snapped fiercely.

“I’m just saying,” James said, “the first mission was fine with Sirius!”

“I think it’s Sirius,” Remus took a sip of beer as silence coated the table.

“What?” James looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

“Sirius has been on both, and anyone who’s played this game knows that as a spy, you let the first mission succeed. Then you sabotage, and let people argue over which one of the three it is while defending your own ‘honor’.”

“Is that so? We must play it differently in England,” Remus watched a slow smile slide across Sirius’ face.

“I doubt that,” Lily said, raising her eyebrows.

“I don’t,” James crossed his arms.

“Then it’s either you or Lily,” Remus pointed out.

“It’s not me,” Lily stated, “must be you, then, Potter.”

“No! It’s got to be you, _Evans_.” Remus let the accusations flow around him once more, and noted, to his dismay, he would be picking the next team.

“Ultimately, it’s Remus you have to convince,” Marlene finally cut in.

“Is it?” Sirius looked back at him, and Remus’ heart stuttered again. He cursed it inwardly.

“As I’m picking the next team, yeah,” he confirmed.

“Then it’ll be your job to assign me immediately,” the silver eyes were solemn, but…

“No,” he heard his voice and wondered if he’d ever sounded so damned foolish.

“What,” Sirius’ smile dropped.

“I’m picking myself, Lily, and Marlene.”

“Lily?” James exclaimed it.

“Yes,” Remus met James’ gaze steadily, “Lily. I trust her much more than I trust you.”

“You’ve known me longer!”

“Exactly,” Remus tossed the appropriate tokens in the center while the table erupted with laughter.

After protests from James, Sirius, and surprisingly Dorcas (“I want to go on a mission! Why can’t _I_ go?”) the mission was voted through and succeeded. Marlene gave Remus a considering look, paused for a silent moment, and dramatically announced that the same three do the next mission as well. Remus shut down Sirius’ outbursts with a quick: “Are you so sure that James isn’t the spy?”

“I—” Sirius looked taken aback, “I’m not talking about James, am I?”

“No, but if we were to trust you, we’d have to trust James. Both of you would play the same strategy.”

“Based on what?” Sirius’ insult carried over James’ sputtering that he wasn’t from the Empire.

“Based on the two of you being brothers in all but blood,” Remus sipped his beer calmly, though he felt no aspect of that calm inside. Sirius seemed to have no repartee to that, and neither did James. Dorcas looked frustrated with her lips pursed and brow furrowed but said nothing.

“So, votes in,” Marlene broke the silence.

When the spies failed in the end, it came to be time to weed out the spies.

“Obviously,” James began, “I, Sirius, Lily, Remus, and Marlene are not spies—”

“We don’t know about Sirius,” Remus interrupted, “he didn’t go on missions after the second. You passed because it was either you or Dorcas, and we felt sorry for you.”

“I’m quite trustworthy, thank you,” Sirius set his cup on the table sharply.

“Why wasn’t I included, James?” Dorcas glared.

“You didn’t go on any missions.”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“I think the two spies are Dorcas and Sirius,” Remus’ quiet tone managed to stop the bickering for a moment.

“What,” Dorcas gritted her teeth, “the _hell_.”

“You never went, and the missions succeeded,” Remus raised his voice, “and after Sirius was exiled, no failures occurred. That’s what we have to go on.” Silence fell as Remus spoke.

“You’re right,” Lily said, “it’s Dorcas and Sirius.”

“Fuck, mate,” James looked at Sirius.

“Agreed,” Marlene said reluctantly.

“DAMMIT!” Sirius threw his red card on the table, disgusted.

“Fuck you, Remus,” Dorcas sulked immediately.

“WE WON!” James leapt up and did what Remus could only term a jig.

“Settle down, idiot, _Remus_ won the game,” Lily leaned back with a grin.

“It’s true,” Marlene laughed, “we did shit.”

“Team effort,” James insisted.

“I don’t want the credit,” Remus couldn’t help grinning, “let’s just play something else now.”

“Truth or Drink,” Marlene jabbed a finger in the air. “We’re playing Truth or Drink.”

There was really nothing to do but go along with it.


	2. Combining Homes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kay so Remus doesn't remember crap because ALCOHOL but Sirius does. This gets p mature so uh....borderline smut? have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO  
> this is the end of this fic, and you all have @confunded-gryffindor and @lovelessinmanhatten to thank because they are my AMAZING betas for this so thank you for the encouragement and grammar help because I needed both lmao. Hope you all enjoy!

Somehow, after that, Remus couldn’t quite remember the night. It was a blur of laughter and near-choking accidents. He could remember Sirius’ eyes on him, watching, throughout the night. How could he mind? He was transfixed by them every time it happened. He could scarcely breathe when it happened. How he managed to be coherent…

Then again, he didn’t know if he had been coherent. _SHIT. Shit, I have work._

Though his headache made it near impossible to focus on anything, he ended up on time—barely—for his shift at nine. _God, how much did I drink? When did I get back to my apartment? How much fucking sleep did I get?_

“Medium hazelnut latte,” Ernest passed him a cup at chest level, sighed heavily when Remus could only blink at it, “dude, are you okay?”

“Yes,” Remus jerked back, “medium cappuccino.” He fumbled through making the drink but managed to glance at the name before he was at the counter.

“Arnold, medium hazelnut latte,” he called out, set the drink down. He might have heard the murmur of a thank you if he hadn’t caught sight of the black jean-clad, leather jacket-wearing Sirius Black. Why he’d worn a pastel pink V-neck with that Remus couldn’t say. He couldn’t say anything other than _Jesus I’m so not straight._

“Remus!” Ernest’s exasperation caught his attention, and he hurried to get the three waiting cups filled. Somehow, none of them were spilled due to his shaking hands and racing heart. He was grateful when he laid hands on Sirius’ cup, another triple-shot cappuccino. This time, he was sure to get everything just right even as he cursed himself, told himself it wouldn’t matter.

“Triple-shot cappuccino,” he began, and was face-to-face with Sirius. Immediately, he wasn’t able to speak anymore. He was patting himself on the back for actually handing him the drink when Sirius flashed a grin and said, “Thanks, Remus.” Luckily, body movement was still permitted. Nodding, Remus forced himself to turn away, towards the drinks waiting to be made.

“Skinny white chocolate mocha for Linda,” he called out, already turning back.

“Do you ever,” Sirius paused to lick his lips, “not work?”

Remus froze and turned back. Sirius was leaning against the pick-up counter, holding the cup to his lips while his eyes gleamed silver. _Shit._

“Sometimes,” he managed, and began the next drink. He called it out and tried not to zone in on Sirius still standing there, sipping his ridiculously caffeinated drink.

“When’s sometimes?” his voice drifted over him while he turned towards the espresso machine.

“Um,” Remus tried to remember his schedule, “not sure. I think Thursday is my day off…”

There was no response until Remus called out the next drink.

“So you have a day off,” Sirius prompted.

“Usually one,” Remus was already trying to focus on the steamer, hoping to make a passable caramel latte.

“And is it usually Thursday?”

“Ah, no,” Remus couldn’t believe he was still there. _What does he want? Did…did something happen last night?_ “Caramel latte for Stephen.”

“Pardon,” Sirius backed off temporarily as a businessman huffed at him. It gave Remus a bit of time to recover, grabbing the next cup.

“Vanilla frappaccino for Alice,” he called out.

“Thanks,” the warm smile was a nice touch to the workday, until Remus saw Sirius wink at her. _Of course he’s straight, you idiot. You didn’t have a chance anyway._

Cheeks burning, he managed to make the next few drinks more or less ignoring Sirius.

“Love, I’m trying to arrange something,” Sirius laughed a bit.

“Sorry—I’m working, can’t really talk,” he dragged a hand through his hair as he made his escape to the order counter and grabbed the next cup. Ernest gave him a funny look but said nothing as he had to take the next order from a Karen.

The orders flew by, but Remus knew the exact moment Sirius slipped away. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed, but…

_It’s for the best, really…there’s no way that would have ended well…it would have just blown up later._

Finally, the day was over. He was wiping down tables while Ernest swept. Laurie had come in during the late afternoon lunch, thank God, so she hummed while cleaning the espresso machines. It was nice to hear her humming along to the song in her earbuds, to hear Ernest’s rhythmic sweeping, and seeing the place clean and quiet. It was always the closing that made him keep the job—it was always worth it, though no one else agreed, to have the place empty and quiet. It was his favorite time of the day. He always felt good when the café was set up for the next morning, and it helped to settle him from the day’s stress and demands. When all was said and done, he waited while Laurie locked the door and Ernest fumbled turning the sign to Closed. He smiled softly to himself—the day was done at last.

He could finally lay out on his old, ripped couch with the book he was reading. Finally, he could dream about writing, or maybe actually write something in the journal that had cost too much, but he had to have. Rolling his shoulders, he waved good-bye to his co-workers and headed to the subway. He thought of the plot of the book he was reading, sweet and romantic, and hoped with fervor that the pair would get together soon. They had been pining for chapters, had nearly kissed once, and Remus had been rooting for them since the very first page when the woman had called the male hero an ass. He admired the two characters, the easy confidence of the man and the sharp wit of the woman. Lily knew books well and had chosen this one for his birthday. It was his favorite birthday gift in his life, because it was from a girl who’d never expected anything from him, had never judged him, who’d hugged him when he’d come out. He remembered her holding him close and saying, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m glad I got to know this part of you.”

He hastily brushed away the tears slipping down his cheeks as he nearly raced up the stairs from the subway station.

“Remus!” came a voice. Every positive feeling sank out of him as he recognized his father’s voice. Lyall Lupin was not a man Remus was found of seeing. The last time Remus had seen him, he’d been kicked out of the house, banished until he’d “given up his sins”. His mother had sat in silence, perhaps too shocked to do anything but watch as her husband raised a hand to her son, as bruises had yet to form.

But they had formed the next day, when Remus was struggling to walk down the road, his thumb stubbornly out. They’d forced his breathing to slow, his legs to burn while he walked, his back to throb while kept ramrod straight. They’d faded, but the memory hadn’t. Forgiveness had not taken its place. Remus kept walking as the pain hit him, as he had done the last time he’d walked away.

“I’m your father!” called the voice, and Remus felt tears prick his eyes again. It took everything he had to keep going, to enter the code as quickly as possible and shutting the door behind him. He ran up the steps, not out of excitement, but out of fear. _If he gets in, I have to be in my apartment before he figures out exactly where I live. SHIT I shouldn’t have come here—now he knows, now he knows, now he knows—_

Luckily, he made it into his door without hearing footsteps behind him. He struggled getting the tiny key in the lock, struggled to turn it properly. Once it opened even a bit, his shoulder was against the door, shoving it open and just as quickly nearly slamming the door on his wrist. It was still trying to get the damn key out again. _Fuck, fuck just get out_ , he desperately tugged. Miraculously, the key finally came out and he got his arm totally inside the door before his other arm slammed it shut.

Remus backed away from the now locked door slowly. _How did he find me? It’s not like Pittsburgh is close…_

He sat on the couch, trying to process it desperately. There was no way in hell he was talking to dear old Dad. No. Not possible. He’d consider Mom. But then…then she’d done nothing to stop what Dad did. Said nothing when he’d packed a duffel bag and his backpack, left. He wasn’t sure which reaction was worse.

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz._

He jolted, grabbed his phone, saw Lily was calling.

“Hey,” he tried to keep his breathing even and his voice casual, but knowing Lily, she’d notice anyway.

“Cheerio,” a voice that was absolutely not Lily glided into his right ear. Remus froze, then hung up. This was too much. Why was he calling from Lily’s phone? The hell?

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz—_

Hell.

“Hi, sorry, hit the button on accident—” Remus stuttered, and grimaced at the excuse.

“You okay?”

“Um, fine, how are you?” Talking too quickly, dammit.

“You don’t sound fine, love.” Remus gulped. _Love._ “Want to talk about it?”

“Maybe, I just…” Remus tried to think of a way to explain it, then froze again. _Shit._

“Famdamnily, then? Otherwise you’re having an existential crisis.”

“Yeah,” Remus couldn’t hold back the breathy chuckle, “that’s exactly it. Both of them, either, I suppose more one than the other—this isn’t making any sense. Sorry.”

“I know the feeling,” the voice and words were like a masseuse soothing sore muscles.

“Really?”

“There’s a reason I’m not lounging in my family estate, having cake and seeing maids putter about. The world’s just not like that, y’know? It doesn’t fit in a neat little box with a tasteful bow. People are like that, too. Some people can’t grasp that. I mean, my family gave me hell for being gay, so here I am, surrounded by bloody Yanks and far from anywhere with decent tea.”

“That’s why you’re here?” Remus was still trying to maintain conversation and wrap his head around combining Sirius and _gay._

“Yep,” came Sirius’ answer while a reluctant smile crept around Remus’ lips.

“Sorry about your family,” he said, “that’s actually why I’m here, too. In New York. I’m bi.” Every time he came out to someone, he felt terror and immense relief at the same time.

“That’s abhorrent,” Sirius’ voice took on a venom Remus hadn’t expected, “They’ve given you that a hard time? What about cousins? Do you have any?”

“They didn’t do shit,” the resentment took over his voice, “and they watched Dad beat me to shit, watched my mom pretend it wasn’t happening. Then I left. Didn’t even get a good-bye.”

“Idiots,” Sirius neatly dismissed them, “they haven’t a clue what they’re missing.”

“They’re not missing much,” Remus rubbed the back of his neck as he sank into the couch cushions.

“They’re missing quite a bit, actually,” Sirius seemed somber, “they’re missing an intelligent, wonderful person in their life. Then again, if they weren’t, I’d be missing that. So damn them, but also lucky me.”

Remus couldn’t quite believe his ears. Was Sirius…flirting? His throat went dry as dust, and he waited a bit too long to respond.

“Still there?”

“Y-yeah, sorry. Just…didn’t expect that, I guess.” _Idiot. Flirt back, this is the one chance you’ve got._

“You’ve got confidence issues, mate,” Sirius said sagely. For some reason, that was utterly hilarious. Remus was laughing so hard tears streamed down his cheeks. Then he realized he’d stopped laughing at some point.

“Is it alright if I come by yours?” the voice was so gentle, Remus couldn’t resist.

“If…if you want, yeah,” he managed the quiet reply, and added his address with less fumbling.

“I’ll get Lily back her phone then and be over in 10.” Sirius clicked off and Remus held the phone like it would vanish if he didn’t keep ahold of it. He couldn’t be sure if he moved before the buzzer rang.

“’Lo?”

“Hey, love. Mind letting me in?”

“Sure,” Remus hit the right button on the first try and congratulated himself, “come on up.” Then he looked at his kitchen area. Thank God it’s clean. Pretty lucky, though, there isn’t much to clean. He scrubbed his hands over his face, getting rid of the last tears, then jolted when the sharp knock came.

“Hey,” he said, smiling.

“Doing okay?” Sirius slipped through the doorway like a quiet shadow.

“Better,” Remus slipped his hands into his pockets after he’d closed the door. For a moment he took in the fact that Sirius looked insanely good in a band t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Hell.

“Just so you know,” Sirius paused, “there’s a man sitting on the stoop. Doesn’t really look how I’d picture any family of yours, but…it is dark out, and I thought it might be good to know. There a back entrance?”

“Yeah,” Remus tried to control his breathing and focus on the conversation, he really did.

“Hey,” Sirius gripped his shoulder, “easy, love. In and out, in and out.” Somehow, that was helpful. Somehow, not being told ‘calm down’ or ‘stop worrying’ made everything so much better so much faster. Lily was the only one who’d ever handled his anxiety like this. He’d considered Lily a miracle. Co-workers usually didn’t become best friends. Best friends didn’t always stand up for you no matter what. If he considered Lily a miracle, Sirius was too. And Sirius wasn’t just visiting…he was here for the foreseeable future. Maybe…maybe it was too good to be true…

“Doing better now,” Sirius’ voice cut through his musings, “have a drink.”

“What?”

“Water, Remus,” and he passed the glass over. Remus sipped, then realized he felt much better. Soon the glass was drained, and Remus felt much, much steadier. He could go out the back and avoid his dad. He’d find a way to stay safe.

“There we are,” Sirius leaned against the counter, “you’re doing just fine now.”

“You can tell so easily?” Remus laughed awkwardly.

“Not so much easily as understanding,” Sirius told him, “I’ve got anxiety stuff too.”

“Oh,” Remus looked at him carefully, “I guess I didn’t see that.”

“It’s easier for me to hide,” Sirius said, “and you’ve not seen one of my spirals yet.”

“It’s been two days,” Remus mused.

“That is true,” Sirius nodded.

“You’ve seen me spiral,” Remus frowned.

“That’s because of shit timing,” Sirius smiled. Remus just shrugged. For a bit, neither spoke.

“Out of curiosity,” Remus suddenly looked at Sirius, “I can’t remember anything from last night other than Resistance. What exactly happened?”

“Truth or Drink happened,” Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Right,” Remus tried to think, but the first few rounds of it had nothing to do with him. Try as he might, he couldn’t figure out anything beyond James asking Lily if she had a specific type.

“I remember James making a fool of himself with Lily,” Remus said at last.

“Yeah, he did that a number of times,” Sirius laughed, “I haven’t seen him stuck on anyone like that.”

“Really?” Remus grinned, “I haven’t seen her act nearly as snarky around anyone like that.”

“Must be love,” Sirius concluded. Then the two of them were laughing like loons. Remus didn’t realize that Sirius had come closer to him, but when he did the laughter instantly died. Sirius, British, somehow remarkably kind and understanding, dramatic, and just…everything, and he was right in front of Remus. _How the hell had this happened?_

“So,” the eyes gleamed and Remus could only stare like an idiot, “you don’t remember us kissing last night?” Remus’ mind went completely, utterly blank.

“Ah,” the beginnings of a stutter tripped out before Sirius tucked a hand under his chin. What else was there to do but close his eyes and lean in? And Sirius’ lips were moving over his, soft and tempting and fuck—

He pulled away to breathe, to make sure it was real. Sirius was just grinning while he used his index finger to stroke Remus’ cheek.

“Easy, love,” a chuckle Remus found ridiculously sexy accompanied the words, “That’s all we did last night.” When Remus couldn’t figure out whether that was good or bad, he accepted that he was completely sunk. He lifted his gaze back to Sirius and said one word.

“Stay.”

“Well…” Sirius raised his eyebrows, but Remus was kissing him before he could say anything else. This time, Remus had his hands on Sirius’ hips, tugging him closer to feel their chests rub against each other. Sirius’ hands gripped his shoulders, the back of his neck. Remus twisted so Sirius’ back was to the counter, skimmed his hands up the other boy’s sides lightly, just enough to tell Sirius what he wanted. He could feel Sirius’ breath catch and the tug on his curly hair that said yes, yes do that. So Remus started inching the t-shirt off, taking his time, letting his fingertips skim across the newly exposed skin. Remus could feel his own excitement zinging along his arms from the touch, and finally the t-shirt was gone. Sirius was unbuttoning his shirt with quick motions, his mouth moving to Remus’ neck. Remus could only hope he didn’t make a damn fool of himself as the feeling of Sirius’ soft lips on his neck made him damn near moan.

“Let’s just,” Sirius breathlessly whispered while he tugged Remus’ shirt from his shoulders and off. Though Sirius was relatively tall, Remus had a few inches on him. The simple fact that Sirius was shorter was delightful. Sirius was raking his gaze over Remus’ chest.

“How the bloody hell d’you have that body working in a café?”

“Metabolism, honestly,” Remus let himself look over Sirius, “do you work out?”

“I run,” Sirius smirked while Remus simply raised an eyebrow, “a bloke can run and have my dashing physique.”

“Sure,” Remus rolled his eyes and tugged Sirius’ beltloops so he was in proximity for another heated kiss. Sirius started sliding his fingers up and down Remus’ stomach, making everything feel like it was on fire. Remus pressed closer, needing more touch, more of Sirius. He wanted to taste something other than Sirius’ lips, and moved his mouth experimentally to Sirius’ jaw. Dark satisfaction filled him when he felt Sirius’ breath suck in abruptly. Sirius’ grip tightened on his hips, fingers digging in as if to encourage him. Kissing down his jaw, then his neck, Remus felt Sirius’ pulse jump. It was so arousing to feel Sirius’ reaction to him. He stopped a moment, rested his forehead against Sirius’.

“Fuck,” Sirius breathed out, “this is bloody potent.” Remus couldn’t help but laugh lightly.

“Probably should stop,” Remus inched his head away, “leave it here, before we go insane.”

“Already there,” Sirius was wearing his signature smirk again.

“You’re not helping.”

“Did I say I was trying?” Sirius kissed him again, soft and teasing, “No, I don’t believe I claimed to be helping…”

“I am going to stop this,” Remus couldn’t help stealing another kiss, “soon.”

“Sure,” Sirius simply scraped his nails down Remus’ torso, gripped his hips. Remus fought back a groan but cursed quietly. The Brit put on the most innocent expression, and Remus couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?”

“You try to be innocent but there’s no way in hell that’s the case,” Remus told him, reluctantly grinning.

“I am innocent,” Sirius pouted, which was Remus’ new favorite facial expression.

“Bullshit,” Remus asserted.

“It is not,” Sirius looked insulted now, “I am the most innocent man on the face of the planet.”

“Now that there is bullshit for sure,” Remus laughed at Sirius’ subsequent pout, “Have I upset you, baby?” Then he froze, uncertain whether that endearment was appropriate.

“You could fix it, daddy.” Sirius kept the pout while Remus tried to remember how breathing worked. _Shit. I did not know I had this kink._ There was nothing to do but crash his lips onto Sirius’, stroking his hands up and down the toned chest. He could feel Sirius’ heartbeat racing under his hands and it was the best sensation in the entire world. Sirius started kissing his neck again, and cannily found a specific, very sensitive spot to suck on.

“Fuck,” Remus said, “Sirius. Baby.” Sirius moved his mouth to Remus’ collarbone, sucked delicately at the spot in the exact center. Remus didn’t know whether to tell him ‘Stop’ or ‘Don’t stop’, so he said nothing at let Sirius go to work while he kept ahold of that inky black mane. Sirius finally meandered to his naval, and Remus ached for more even as alarm bells went off in his head.

“Sirius,” the name turned into a groan when a tongue slid from his pant line to his naval again, “we shouldn’t.”

“Really shouldn’t,” the affable agreement was accompanied by the unbuttoning of Remus’ khakis.

“Seriously,” Remus caught Sirius’ hands, “we should stop now. It’s been two days.”

“Yeah,” Sirius chuckled, “that’s true.” The man stood again, watched as Remus re-buttoned his pants.

“So,” Remus felt his face flame.

“You have a daddy kink.” Sirius stated it with a grin. There was no need to reply, so Remus simply snatched up his shit, started re-buttoning that as well.

“You’re not going to talk about that, are you? Daddy.” Remus fumbled with the button halfway to his chest and blew out a breath.

“It’s not up for discussion at the moment,” he muttered, focusing on the shirt.

“Well, Daddy, I want to discuss it.” Remus paused, and looked up to see Sirius’ insolent grin. Of course, Sirius had made no move to get dressed again. Remus had to force himself to start buttoning his shirt again. Thankfully, there were only four buttons left.

“Fortunately, you aren’t in charge.” He finally finished doing up his shirt, and then realized he had nothing to do with his hands. Before he acted on the thought of _grab Sirius’ ass_ he stuffed them into his pockets.

“That’s right,” Sirius leaned against the fridge, “you are, though…Daddy.”

“Stop,” Remus glared.

“Fine,” Sirius rolled his eyes. He still wasn’t going to put on his shirt. Remus bit his lip.

“Is this…physical…for you?” he took to staring at the floor.

“Well, yeah,” Sirius laughed, “but you’re also quite unique. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“There are plenty of people like me,” Remus smiled ironically.

“No,” Sirius shook his head, “there really aren’t.”

“I happen to know a good number of nerds,” he could hear the dryness of his own voice and wondered if he should get a glass of water.

“You’re not just a nerd,” Sirius was looking at him with a slight frown.

“There’s not much else to me,” Remus was confused.

“Well, you’re someone who should be a teacher,” Sirius told him, “someone who could change kids’ lives.” Remus could only stare at Sirius, who was now looking at him with no trace of teasing or irony or flirtation.

“I…did I tell you I wanted to be a teacher?” That was a deeply hidden secret. How…

“Truth or drink,” Sirius crossed his arms, “I asked what you would do if you could do anything in the world. You said if it was possible, you’d go to school and become a literature professor.”

“And you think I’d be good at it,” Remus stated.

“Of course,” now Sirius smiled at him, “you went on a whole rampage about Shakespeare and how it’s considered highbrow literature when it’s really lowbrow comedy. You convinced literally everyone.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Sirius confirmed. Remus had no quip, no repartee, no response. He just stared at the silver-eyed man in front of him, trying to determine how he’d gotten so lucky.

“And do you have feelings for me, then?” Sirius asked playfully.

“You’re a drama queen with impulse issues,” Remus told him.

“Yeah,” Sirius shrugged, “and?”

“And I shouldn’t like that about you.” Remus was completely satisfied when Sirius looked taken aback.

“You really shouldn’t,” Sirius licked his lips, “you should like my wit—”

“Oh, you have some?” Remus raised his brows suspiciously, “I haven’t noticed.”

“My wit,” Sirius glared, “my style, and the fact that I’m British.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you how your country’s imperialism delights me,” Remus managed to keep his expression deadpan while Sirius guffawed, “and your style doesn’t make me want to puke, so I suppose I do like it.”

“Thanks, love, I do try,” Sirius rolled his eyes again. Remus let himself chuckle, then let the silence fall.

“Wait,” Remus remembered suddenly, “why were you calling from Lily’s phone?”

“I don’t have your number, she does, and you don’t answer your phone for numbers you don’t recognize.” Sirius lifted a finger for each reason while he grinned. Remus nodded in understanding.

“I’m glad you called,” he admitted softly.

“Me, too.”

Wordlessly, Remus led the way to the couch.

“Filled your apartment with books, did you?” Sirius was looking around while Remus coughed awkwardly.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“It feels like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that it feels like you’re completely yourself here. You don’t put up a snarky front.”

“I like my snark,” Remus frowned.

“So do I,” Sirius nudged his shoulder, “but you show the inside of you here.”

Remus made a non-committal sound while he considered his apartment. The bookshelves had come from the GoodWill, and the walls were otherwise bare. He’d no real decoration. But then, Sirius always seemed to say the oddest things. He smiled to himself while he gazed around the apartment, and Sirius seemed to be perfectly content with sitting next to him in the quiet, in the dim light from a halfway broken lamp on the one end table Remus owned. Remus wondered if this…thing with Sirius continued, if Sirius would move in…if they’d share the two rooms and let Sirius’ personality mingle with what Remus had. How wonderful would that be, to have someone with him while they figured out life? Maybe someday he’d go to school again—and have Sirius to come home to, to vent about the homework or professors or classmates. Maybe Sirius would listen to him bitch with a grin on his face while he pointed out how it had been Remus’ idea to go back, that this was what he’d wanted. How would it feel to help Sirius cook in the cramped kitchen? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to surprise Sirius with his cooking skills? The air could be filled with the scent of bacon and maple butter crepes, and Sirius would look at him with admiration and adoration while he snuck a piece of bacon. He could see himself as he woke up beside that slim body, stretching and disturbing Sirius’ sleep. He could already hear the complaints Sirius would make about disturbing his ‘beauty sleep’. Then he could feel Sirius wrap his arms around him, telling him ‘it’s just five more minutes’ and being very, very late for work.

“You daydream a lot,” the voice cut through that wonderful thought.

“Hm?” Remus blinked, “oh. I guess I do, yeah.”

“Does it help?”

“Help?” Remus turned towards the Englishman.

“Does it help…get through?” Sirius’ expression was new to Remus, and he had to guess it was a cross between wistful and sorrowful.

“Sometimes,” Remus tried to pick his words carefully, “others, well…dreams can only give so much. That’s why people live instead of dream.” A smile slowly made its way over the pale face, and Sirius nodded.

“Yeah. Dreams can only be in your heart. Life you can hold on to,” he paused a moment, as if debating to continue, “what’s your favorite escape dream?”

“To escape the life I have, temporarily?” Remus waited until Sirius nodded, “I dream about waking up next to someone who sees me. Someone who sees what I can’t always show. I don’t need a mind reader; I need someone to remind me that I’m more than a barista. I forget that I can be more, if I let myself.”

“Love,” Sirius simplified. Remus chuckled.

“I suppose,” he shrugged, “but I’d settle for a companion. For a best friend.”

“Isn’t Lily your best friend?”

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had—I’ve only known her since I started working at the café. Smart as she is, it wasn’t difficult to figure out that I had no one and basically nothing at the start.”

“Tell me about it—the beginning.” Remus surprised himself by doing just that. Another surprise was the way Sirius could listen. Some people just nodded when he spoke, made _hmms and ohhhs_. Sirius did that, but threw in jokes, summed things up in a way Remus could see each scene from a new point of view. Remus wasn’t exactly a talker—it was easily the longest conversation he’d ever had with one person, but the time clicked by as if it had decided to fast forward suddenly. That realization came through when it was two in the morning and Remus couldn’t stop yawning.

“Lord, is it actually?” Remus loved the way Sirius scrubbed his hands over his face, “I really don’t fancy getting on the tube—subway—just now…”

“Don’t,” Remus could scarcely believe his boldness, “stay. With me.”

“Is that an invitation—”

“To sleep, you idiot,” Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius’ raised eyebrow and smirk, “I have to be at work by seven.”

“Ah, sleep only it is,” Sirius gave a disappointed sigh. As the two entered the bedroom, Remus had a slight moment of panic. He had a boy in his room. A ridiculously gorgeous boy was slipping under the covers, rolling to his side and waiting for Remus to join him. Somehow, he managed not to topple over while getting into bed. An errant thought of _I’m still in my clothes—should I change or_ —passed through his head before Sirius simply settled his head on Remus’ shoulder, flung an arm around his chest and sighed happily. It was the most wonderful thing in the world, but Remus could only appreciate the moment until his eyelids drooped and he fell into the best sleep he’d had since running away from home.

Maybe part of his consciousness recognized that he’d found a new home at last.


End file.
